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Writer's pictureRabbi Jennifer Rudin

Looking for a needle in a haystack ~ Finding an officiant for you!

Updated: Jul 18, 2023

If you think securing a venue, selecting an invitation and choosing just the right menu was challenging, you haven't started looking for an officiant yet! Finding the right officiant is like looking for a needle in a haystack, especially if you're looking for a Rabbi.


Recently Lindsay from Texas shared, "We started the process of searching for a Rabbi to marry us and we never thought it would be this hard. We started reaching out to "Interfaith" Rabbis via TheKnot and we couldn't believe what we heard. Some Rabbis told us all the food at our reception had to be certified Kosher or they wouldn't marry us. Others wanted us to pledge to raise our children Jewish...and that means no Christmas tree. And, get this, one even told us my future in-laws couldn't walk down the aisle. How is that interfaith?"


It's no wonder many couples, much to their parent's dismay, are giving up on being married by a Rabbi. More than 43% of couples are married by non-clergy officiants and that's just sad. Why shouldn't every couple have the option of beginning their life together in exactly the way they wish?


Well I'm here to tell you it's possible. Jewish ritual and tradition is forever changing. Today's weddings look significantly different from weddings from 200 or 1000 or 5000 years ago. Wedding ceremonies are constantly being reimagined. It wasn't long ago that things as common as both the bride and groom exchanging rings were unheard of. Your wedding ceremony should be everything you've dreamed of and nothing that you haven't. In the moment that you join your life with your 'beshert' (the one you're destined to be with) should be authentic to you. No should force you to engage in rituals, make pledges or say words that don't hold meaning for you. Interfaith couples...there are Rabbis who will marry you your way! We're out here. Just keep looking.

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